A reflection on 2020:
The year that gave us everything and nothing
There’s absolutely no denying that 2020 was one of the worst years.
Like… ever.
For most people, the global pandemic (Eek! I don’t even want to say those words anymore.) pushed us to limits we didn’t even know existed, whether financially, emotionally, physically or mentally. We were all affected.
It felt like there was more loss than anything else. We lost loved ones. We lost a whole lot of jobs and opportunities. We lost freedoms, those little ones we all took for granted. Date nights. Birthdays and milestones. Hugs, oh, I miss hugs way too much. Hell, we lost a good chunk of our sanity too.
I could easily get lost in my own thoughts thinking about loss. And that’d be a pretty dark place to be. But at the same time, I feel like so much of it has been necessary. Don’t you feel that way too? That whole year has been such an eye-opener for me, which is why I’ve been focusing on all the good it’s brought.
To the year that tried to bring me down, you’ve given me the greatest lessons I didn’t know I needed.
TIME IS INVALUABLE.
I was gifted time. So. Much. Time. I got to spend more time with my incredible husband than I have in the near-14 years of loving him and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. For over 10 months, we’ve been working from home in a modest 650 SF condo, sharing the same, tiny table we once used for dinner. And shit, those days seemed like decades ago. Sure, we’ve had to eat on the couch and schedule our work calls at different slots but the thing is, it doesn’t matter how successful or rich or sick you are because time is one of those things that no one gets more of.
And getting to hear my husband’s “work voice” for the first time? Yeah, that was pretty exciting.
Time has brought us closer, given me patience, and taught me that the socks he sprinkles all over our home really aren’t the end of the world after all.
APPRECIATE THE STILLNESS.
There’s a saying I love that goes something like this:
“If you need something done, ask a busy person.”
Full disclosure, I’m one of those people, which is probably why it resonated with me. This time last year, I didn’t have a minute to spare. If I wasn’t working my 9-5 or taking an online course or at a spin class, I was meal prepping for the weeks ahead. To me, idle hands meant laziness and I didn’t want that. I set expectations so high I never felt like I could catch up to yesterday’s me. I much preferred the pangs of exhaustion over the repercussions of inactivity.
But when the world stopped and the offices closed and the gyms shut down, I forgot who I was. All the things I allowed to define me disappeared.
Was I still supposed to be the work-a-holic with a too-full schedule? The chick from boxing class with the random tattoos? Or the one who always made time for a drink with friends? Maybe I still don’t know, but what I know for sure is I kept myself busy for fear of self-loathing.
With my old schedule long gone, I was forced to learn who I was all over again. I questioned all the decisions I ever made. I wondered how many friends I’d still have after not seeing them for seasons at a time. Would I get to try on shoes at the mall again? What about my future kids, will they grow up with a beloved mask drawer in the front console too?
I don’t really know any of these answers.
What I do know is we should only worry about what’s in our realm of control. I’ve also learned that as impossible as everything seems in this moment, we’re all going through it together. It’s okay to worry and it’s even better to talk about it. All the over-thinking has made me feel more human than I have in ages.
All my decisions, good or bad, have brought me to this exact point in time. So how could I ever doubt them? And my friends? The truest ones will always be there for you, but checking in with them often (albeit digitally) is a really great idea. Life is so much bigger than worrying about shoes and all those daunting what-ifs.
All we can do is live in this very moment. That’s our only guarantee.
PRIORITIES CHANGE.
The more you have, the more you want. Think about it… Money, reputation, designer coats, collectibles… Once you get that sweet taste of something better, how could you look the other way?
Simple.
When you’re forced to give up what you loved–or what you thought you loved–you redirect the energy to something better. If you’re lucky, you might realize how silly you were for wanting that $900 bag, the same one that’s been collecting dust on the shelf for months. Without anywhere to go to show it off, what good is it really doing for you? How well is that one bag serving you now?
Of course…
This is just one example, but this logic has applied to so many things in my life lately.
As I’m sitting here in the same wrinkly, green sweater from 3 days ago, I can confidently say our priorities have shifted immensely.
Instead of seeing my whole family on those special occasions, it’s now our WhatsApp group chat that makes me happy. On Thanksgiving, we celebrated on a massive video call. We cooked meals in our own kitchens, we virtually toasted to being alive, and we still ate together, but each from the comforts of our home. Instead of usual bar nights, my friends and I host virtual game nights every month and they’ve been so fun they might just become a permanent thing. And most importantly, I’ve spent more time with my mum (who lives alone) since moving out of my childhood home.
Why wasn’t I doing all this before? It’s because I didn’t think I had to.
With this fresh perspective on life, I’ve managed to rework my priorities so they focus on what truly matters.
Have yours changed at all?
GOALS SHOULDN’T STOP.
For years, I’ve been freelance copywriting. It was never for the money. I do it because I genuinely love writing. I love taking people’s complex thoughts and ideas and make them make sense on paper. I suppose being in the corporate sphere has a lot to do with me needing a creative outlet too.
I remember graduating college with a cool site I built on my own for my written portfolio. I was so proud. Don’t get me wrong, the site was absolutely terrible and none of the forms worked. But WOW! There was my work, discoverable by anyone on the World Wide Web. I’m telling you, there’s no better feeling.
Sadly, I forgot the WordPress login and lost the little coding knowledge I soaked up. Disappointed in myself, I decided to let the ship sail. After all, I was a writer, not a web designer.
But 2020 was different.
It was the year I chased my dreams. Because if not now, when? With all the extra time on my hands, I couldn’t think of a better way to re-approach this dream of mine and you know what? I’m glad I did. I did it the right way this time and hired someone amazing to make it pretty… and safeguard my password. (THANK YOU, NICOLE!)
The point is doing nothing is FANTASTIC, but life doesn’t slow down (even if you think it is). It just gets harder and you’ll always find an excuse not to do something. If you’ve been given a break, whatever this break might look like, take advantage of it and do something for yourself because my guess is you probably won’t have another one. Learn a new skill. Exercise more. Read that book series you’ve been thinking about. Teach yourself a language with a free app. Set goals and make a plan.
Next year, you’ll be proud of your accomplishments while the rest of the world stood still.
OK.
I promised myself I wouldn’t get too preachy. Did I get too preachy?
I firmly believe each day is a new opportunity to begin again and while 2020 felt like a never-ending shit storm, it taught me the very things I didn’t know I needed and for that, I am grateful.
So, to the year gave us nothing, thank you.
For everything.
